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*daniel
I like pudding.
Joined: 22 Nov 2002
Posts: 594
Location: Toronto.
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 Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:51 pm Post subject: Poetry: "Thirty" |
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This a poem I wrote last month, when I committed to writing one every single day. It's called "Thirty" because it was the... you guessed it... 30th day. :)
Thirty
She smoulders, struck
in a lighning second -
sputtering sabbath candles
resurrected -
yesterhour's ice turns,
all aflame, crackling
from breast to horn,
silt to breakers -
and as she vainly
tears the coals out of
her mouth,
her water turns to
steam -
all the air's a mirror -
and love, it's
still alive.
Last edited by *daniel on Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:05 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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The Phantom
Junior Member
Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Posts: 248
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| Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:42 pm Post subject: |
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| not to bad not to bad. |
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GusDeHaan
The TH. Inspector and etc.
Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 763
Location: Im so bright You need sunglasses.
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| Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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| I allways thought time was more appropriately personafied in a male form - but then again - Dan you are the "special" one of us two. |
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*daniel
I like pudding.
Joined: 22 Nov 2002
Posts: 594
Location: Toronto.
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| Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah... something different.
I wrote it at church, which is probably why it has all the ceremonial/sacrificial imagery in it. |
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Christian Cowgirl
Doesn't Post Enough to Get a Cool Status
Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 594
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| Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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That was about time? Oh.
It doesn't rhyme. |
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The Phantom
Junior Member
Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Posts: 248
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| Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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| not all poems rhyme CC |
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*daniel
I like pudding.
Joined: 22 Nov 2002
Posts: 594
Location: Toronto.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Christian Cowgirl wrote: | That was about time? Oh.
It doesn't rhyme. |
True. I wrote it using a poetic technique pioneered by Walt Whitman, known as "Free Verse".
You'll also notice that none of the Psalms rhyme, but they were the poetry of the Hebrews. |
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jessicado
It'll Take Me Years to Get to 2000 Posts
Joined: 06 Sep 2003
Posts: 722
Location: Oregon........I waaaaanna know-have you ever seeeeeeeeen the rain?
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| Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 2:13 am Post subject: |
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Very nice!
I have always thought of time as having a female persona....except for the little baby and old guy at New Years.... |
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