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Man Vs Woman
 
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Christian Cowgirl
Doesn't Post Enough to Get a Cool Status


Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 594

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:07 pm    Post subject: Man Vs Woman

1.NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.



2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



3.MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



4.BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.



5.ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.



7.FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



8.SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



9.MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.



10.DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



11.NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.



AND FINALLY..... A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Londoner
Somewhat Aging Member


Joined: 08 Oct 2004
Posts: 430
Location: London, England, UK

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:47 pm    Post subject:

LOL Laughing

Quote:
1.NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


Girls use nicknames too.
Eugene Kendall™
The Official Town Hall Nutcase


Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 3713
Location: Grandma Land!

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:51 pm    Post subject:

MAN WINS
Melka
Cursor Always on Submit Button Member


Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 819
Location: In the Grip of Grace

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:02 pm    Post subject:

No you don't !

Yes Londoner is right we do give eachother nicknames, just not like men do, they are sometimes more aproprieate.
Bmuntz
Cursor Always on Submit Button Member


Joined: 12 May 2004
Posts: 950
Location: CANADA

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Man Vs Woman

Christian Cowgirl wrote:




2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



3.MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



Those are not true for the men. For number 2 all four men will forget there wallets but they might each have 8 or so dollers in there pockets. And 3 for some men is true but men can be just as picky if not more on prices then woman.
PonysHorses
Junior Member


Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Posts: 185
Location: My house

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:42 pm    Post subject:

HA HA HA Laughing . That is so funny Christian Cowgirl! The women totaly won!
Arwen
Really Likes Personalized Ranks


Joined: 12 Jul 2003
Posts: 1193
Location: The Middle of Nowhere

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 4:04 pm    Post subject:

It was funny, bu tit was the way it ended that really cracked me up. That's great! Laughing Laughing Laughing
skygazing
Somewhat Aging Member


Joined: 27 Dec 2002
Posts: 324
Location: in front of my computer

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 4:43 pm    Post subject:

lol I loved that Very Happy Laughing
Movie Fan Man
Somewhat Aging Member


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 303
Location: Anywhere I want, and you can't stop me! >:-P

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 5:02 pm    Post subject:

Londoner wrote:
Girls use nicknames too.


MelkaAlyson wrote:
Yes Londoner is right we do give eachother nicknames, just not like men do, they are sometimes more aproprieate.


Cinderella wrote:
Those are not true for the men. For number 2 all four men will forget there wallets but they might each have 8 or so dollers in there pockets. And 3 for some men is true but men can be just as picky if not more on prices then woman.


You women just can't understand a joke, can you. Rolling Eyes
Me
Not You


Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1052
Location: Now that would be telling

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 5:25 pm    Post subject:

That makes me happy.
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