The Town Hall Archives

Simbelmyne34 · Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 8:57 pm Post subject: How good is my poem?

Here Is the first real poem I've written and I'd like your opinion on it.
Tell the truth.
Here it is! (It had my real name on it before but I changed it to Simbelmyne34)

Wind has Questions
By
Simbelmyne34

One day the Wind said to the Water
“Why do you toss to and fro?”
The Water said “Because that’s the way it is,
Why do the trees sway and blow?”

The Wind still had many questions,
He moved on to talk to the Sky.
Asking him “What makes the clouds go?”
The Sky replied “What a silly wind you are,
What makes the trees sway and blow?”

The Wind still went on to talk to Earth,
He said “Everyone has a job to do but me!”
Earth said, “That isn’t true! Why you’re the very key.
Who do you think makes the waters toss to and fro?
Makes the clouds go and makes the trees sway and blow,
You do!”

The Wind, who was surprised at this, went to go,
Go and make the trees sway and blow.
---------------

Do you think the title is ok?

Simbelmyne34 · Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 9:35 pm Post subject:

please! someone say something about it!

Eugene Kendall™ · Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:40 pm Post subject:

more of a story than a poem 8/10

poWerBoy · Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:39 am Post subject:

I like the poem. The title deons't seem right though.

Bmuntz · Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:06 am Post subject:

I thought that it was good. i am not going to spray paint it on to my hippie van but it's still good.

Simbelmyne34 · Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:57 am Post subject: