The Town Hall Archives

Screech · Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004 7:50 pm Post subject:

My heart echos your words EK. (Ok that was lame)

AREM · Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004 9:56 pm Post subject: cool

i actually liked that compared to other aio fan-fics... i like script format, I know you're working on this type of writing... if you want to go even more like a script add sound effects

ex:

(heavy breathing comes from Wooton, as Simon approaches)

Kanimoto · Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 11:12 am Post subject:

Scenes 3-4

SCENE THREE — Wonderworld
NATHANIEL
Okay, Cal. Why’d you want us all here?

CAL
There are these new kids at our school—

SARAH
Yeah, so? (beat) What are their names, anyway?

CAL
(annoyed) As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, there are these new kids at our school. Twins. Their names are Simon and Elijah.

LIZ
And we should care why?!

ALEX
Don’t get him started.

CAL
Well, I was thinking. Why did they move from New Jersey, of all places, to Odyssey, of all places? They were acting weird all through lunch whenever Alex or I asked them any questions.

JARED
Suspicious...

NATHANIEL
(sarcastically) Maybe, like most human beings, they just don’t like too many questions about their personal lives.

SARAH
(snickers) No kidding.

CAL
Or...

MANDY
Or...what?

CAL
(excitedly) He’s working undercover for some big company that’s searching to destroy the bane of cafeteria food!

There is a surprised silence. In the background, birds twitter.

LIZ
Okay...

JARED
Yes! That’s what I’ve been thinking!

MANDY
Simon and Elijah are just...well, new kids, guys. I remember who you're talking about now. They're both in the school band with me. They're pretty nice.

SARAH
You’re definitely overreacting.

ALEX
That’s what I said!

CAL
But don’t you see? This is the excitement I’ve been hoping for, that I’ve been praying for! Look, they’ve got you all fooled! Something’s up, I tell you, and I can also tell you that Jared will back me up.

JARED
Amen to that.

SARAH
No big surprise there.

CAL
The bottom line is this. When secretive kids from a distant state move into a small town like Odyssey there’s obviously a mystery involved! And the only way to solve that mystery is to investigate!

ALEX, NATHANIEL, MANDY, SARAH & LIZ
(muttering) Hoo boy...

SCENE FOUR — Odyssey Middle School cafeteria
Children talk in the background

JARED
Hi.

SIMON
Hey.

JARED
Hay is for horses.

SIMON
And high is for mountains.

JARED
Ooh, you catch on quickly.

SIMON
Can I sit here? All of my usual seats are taken.

JARED
Go ahead.

SIMON pulls out a chair and sits down.

JARED
You’re new here, aren’t you?

SIMON
I was hoping you’d miss that.

JARED
I don’t miss much around here. Except your name, maybe.

SIMON
Simon Maxwell.

JARED
I’m Jared DeWhite. I heard you have a brother; where is he?

SIMON
(with his mouth full) Our class schedules got changed. Different lunch periods.

JARED
Mmhm...a likely story. (clears throat) Where’d you live before coming here?

SIMON
(coldly) Are the people of Odyssey all this nosy?

JARED
Never mind. Forget I asked.

SIMON
Thank you.

(beat)

JARED
So what’s your take on the alien invasion projected for 2018?

SIMON
What?

Screech · Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 11:16 am Post subject:

Good Continue!

Neo3DGfx · Somewhat Aging Member Joined: 22 Oct 2003 Posts: 469

More FF!!!!!!

YAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like the script writing style, and the story is great!

Keep up the good work!!!

Ming · Just Moved In Joined: 27 Jul 2004 Posts: 2 Location: NC

Its soo cool I cant wait till you write more!!! Very Happy

Disco Dan · Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:05 pm Post subject:

Good stuff, you stay true to the characters. Wooten's part was great, when I read it, I did it in his voice. It worked great! Good stuff.

Catspaw · Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 11:18 pm Post subject:

Wow, I really like this story! Keep posting more chapters! I appreciate the proper grammer and punctuation that you use.

Kanimoto · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 6:08 pm Post subject:

Scenes 5-7

SCENE FIVE — The DeWhite home at dinner
TRENT
Pass the chicken, please, Dad.

MR. DEWHITE
Here you go. (beat) So, Jared, what happened at school today? You’re very quiet tonight.

JARED
I met this new kid, Simon, at school yesterday.

TRENT
(with his mouth full) What a coincidence! I met a new kid, too!

MRS. DEWHITE
(quietly) Trent, don’t talk with your mouth full.

TRENT
(with his mouth still full) Sorry, Mom.

JARED
Be quiet, Trent. Anyway, I saw him in my English class today, and went over to say hi. But when I did, he told me that he wasn’t Simon, but Elijah.

TRENT
The prophet?

JARED
That’s what I said. Then he gave me the usual story, y’know, he’s supposedly Simon’s twin and all.

MR. DEWHITE
Supposedly?

JARED
Never mind. What was it you said about a new kid, Trent?

TRENT
His name is Dustin Maxwell.

JARED
Maxwell?!

SCENE SIX — Odyssey Middle School boys’ locker room
Locker doors slam and boys talk in the background.

SIMON
(muttering) Shorts...shorts...where are my basketball shorts? (raises voice) Hey, Lijah, have you seen my shorts?

JARED
Aha!

SIMON
Ahh!!

JARED
So Elijah is your brother!

SIMON
(angrily) Did I ever say he wasn’t? Now why are you following me around and hiding under the bench? (sarcastically) To tell me how Bigfoot invaded this school back in ’79?

JARED
Well, actually—

ELIJAH
Hey, Simon, I found these shorts on the bench. Are they yours? (beat) What are you doing here, Jared? You had gym last period. (beat) What’s wrong with you?

JARED
Wh-whoa! Either your really cleverly disguised secret agents or I’m seeing double!

ELIJAH
(sighs) Neither. We’re twins. Didn’t I tell you that before, Jared?

JARED
Yeah, yeah, whatever.

SIMON
(sharply) What do you want?

JARED
N-nothing! Don’t look at me like that!

ELIJAH
I think you should go before Simon really gets mad.

JARED
(frantically) I’m going! I’m going! (mutters) Guess there’s more to this than I thought...

SCENE SEVEN — Maxwells’ living room
TV plays in the background.

SIMON
(drowsily) So tired...must stay awake...ohhh... (snores softly)

~Dream Sequence~
YOUNG SIMON
Troy? Where are you, Troy!

YOUNG TROY
Right here, Simon. What’s wrong?

YOUNG SIMON
(tearfully) It’s Dustin, Troy! Dustin! He’s not getting better like Turner said...he’s really sick!

YOUNG TROY
Oh man, oh man. Simon, you and Elijah stay here!

YOUNG SIMON
But—

YOUNG TROY
(nervously) Do what I said, Simon. I-I’ve got to find our cousin.

Troy’s scream abruptly echoes.

YOUNG SIMON
(echoingly) Troy!!
~End Dream Sequence~

SIMON
(breathlessly) Ah! I hate that dream...

A knock sounds at the front door.

SIMON
Huh? Wha? (groans) Oh boy.

SIMON gets up from the couch, turns off TV, and goes to answer the door.

(beat)

SIMON
(gasp) It’s...it’s you!

RICHARD
Hiya, kiddo.

SIMON
Come inside! (door closes) Richard...wh-when did you get here?

RICHARD
Yesterday. I got my own apartment now, and I heard you’d moved in town, so I thought I’d check up on things here. Your dad in?

SIMON
No. He went out somewhere. Elijah and Dustin are here, though. (shouts) Hey, Lij! Dusty! We have a visitor! (lowers his voice) You hungry, cousin?

RICHARD
Nah, I think I’ll just—

ELIJAH
Simon, what were you calling us for— (gasp)

ELIJAH & DUSTIN
Richard!

RICHARD
How’s it going, boys? Wow, Dustin, you’ve grown! (mutters) Haven’t outgrown that wheelchair, though...

DUSTIN
Thank you. I think.

ELIJAH
(excited) So what are you doing here, Richard?

RICHARD
Uh, visiting.

The doorbell rings.

SIMON
I’ll get that.

RICHARD
Did you make that many friends already, Simon?

SIMON
No.

RICHARD
I thought so.

SIMON opens the door.

WOOTON
Hey, Simon!

SIMON
Hay is for horses. Or so I’ve heard.

WOOTON
Oh. Mind if I come in?

SIMON
N-no. My dad’s out, though. (mumbles) He’s always out.

WOOTON
(closes door behind him) I’m supposed to mow Mrs. Randolph’s lawn on Wednesdays, but I finished early so I thought I’d come over and — oh, you already have company.

SIMON
Wooton, these are my brothers Elijah and Dustin. And this is my cousin Richard. He’s visiting family and stuff like that. Guys, meet our mailman Wooton.

WOOTON
Nice to meet you.

RICHARD
Likewise.

ELIJAH
Hi.

DUSTIN
Yeah.

WOOTON
You and Elijah are twins, huh, Simon?

SIMON
Obviously.

(beat)

WOOTON
So...do you want me to tell you about the stuff that happens in Odyssey where you “don’t get beat up”? Or do you want me to come back when you don’t have company?

RICHARD
I don’t mind.

ELIJAH
I want to explore!

DUSTIN
Me too!

SIMON
I don’t think there’s anything for me to do in this town.

WOOTON
Well, there’s one thing that you can do — actually a place where you can go — where no one gets you beat up. Nice place called Whit’s End.

SIMON
(unconvinced) Sounds interesting

WOOTON
It’s an ice cream shop.

ELIJAH
(excited) Could you show us where it is?

WOOTON
Well, sure. That is, if your company doesn’t mind.

RICHARD
Not at all. I was about to go over there myself...

~~

Yes! I know! Bringing Richard Maxwell back is nothing new, but I just had to do it. *sigh*

Don't ask me why, though. Wink

It is all in the Plan.

Screech · Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:20 pm Post subject:

NICE!